I feel the need....the need for......

So it has been a hell of a month for me. So many things came up and so many things happened that I thought it was beyond my control.

I think I do have a firmer grasp of the things to come, so I figured, I’d post something today.

November was really stressful. It felt like everything was cascading and I was the target.

I’ve been having some finance issues, but that’s beyond my concern now. I think everyone is having the same problems, so what to do? Deal with it.

It’s the holidays, and what better way to celebrate it, is to just roll with the punches.

I’ve been trying to re-learn how to play the piano, and its going bonkers. So I tried practicing on my acoustic guitar, which is annoying me because the damn action is set too high for my standard. My Stratocaster is also frustrating me because I can’t play loud enough in my apartment. I thought I should just sell it.

It’s really hard to part with it though. Since it’s my first strat, and I love it. I’ve only had a couple of gigs with it, and now, it’s just sitting on my guitar rack.

My special friend is having issues with getting employment. I tried to pull some strings to get her started, but I feel that her drive is just underwhelming. She has to figure out what she wants to do, and I’ll still be 100% supportive.

Social life is like driving on your way to Las Vegas. You intermittently see good stuff on the way, but there really is no time in stopping and enjoying the moment, thought the biggest excitement to come is miles and miles away. You’d lay over to get gas, just to stretch your legs, but then your back in your saddle (in this case your car), and dredge through that grueling drive. In which now you think, is it really worth it all the hype and anticipation?

December 13 is coming fast. It’s just 10 days away and it the 1^st Year Anniversary of a wonderful website that my friend started. Fil-amusic.com’s ‘Yule Rock ‘08’. Last year, we had about 14 bands playing, but this time, it’s reduced to just ten. It should be a great night to just enjoy, listen and mix in with the people who love to do gigs here and there.

I have been listening to some new tunes lately. I just got Adele and Justin Nozuka. These two are amazing artists. They’re lyrics hit hard and hit you good.

There’s nothing good on TV. I used to reserve my Monday nights just so I could watch Heroes. I got to tell you that this show has gone from hype, to pulling though, then just jumped the shark in just three mere seasons. I still watch the show before that which is ‘Chuck’. It’s a campy nerd/spy triage which is just a good enough reason to just sit back and relax. It also helps that Yvonne Strahovski is uber hot.

Someone is stalking me. So I don’t pick up my phone, unless I know who’s calling. (Oh, such random stuff)

House M.D. is still kick ass, but its on too early, so I still have to look for other things to pass the time before I go to bed.

I haven’t been to the movies in eight months. Not that I’m complaining. Dinner plans though, have been on a steady flow. I wish that she’d just go with me when I hang out with my musically inclined friends. Its good though.

I miss my friends in the Philippines.

While driving on my way home everyday, I always sink into the thought that I should have just stayed home. I could’ve been around my friends when they needed my back. I’m talking about my friends back in college and my flat mates. I miss those days where I was their go to guy. I miss being needed.

Now, life is just surviving. It sucks.

That’s not its suppose to be right?

We should be taking in as much as we can. Now, I’m all consumed by my work, my financial needs then it goes back 360 degrees.

A vortex, which gobbles up all my energy to do other things, good things.

I’m not that arrogant to think that I’m better than the rest, but passionate enough to know that I could be something else. I used to think that what I do is help people get the dream home that they want. Help them set their finances straight and foresee a better future. I loved how their eyes sparkle when I explain to them things that they never thought was possible with their budget and still live their lives as they are accustomed.

Now, it’s a chore to even get up in the morning.

Being an economist is a drag. I admit I like theories and speculations, most specially…numbers. An economist who is also trained in the discipline of philosophy and logic is boring.

You probably thought I was going to say something spectacular.

Having two degrees with nowhere to go is mind-numbing.

I’m just gonna sip on my black coffee for now and spend a couple hours at the gym tonight.

Ho hummm…..