Nothing ever hurt like you...

How long has it been?

Six years and counting….

Endless mimicry of moments of clarity…

And I still falter to that dark and gloomy place I was before. I guess I never really had any closure. I thought I did at some point, and maybe just tricked myself into thinking that I have.

Every other day, I keep wandering inside, looking for that feeling. The way you made me feel when we were still together. Everytime I get a glimpse of your face, I think I still have something left for you. Something more than what I had back then.

I’ve had recurring dreams about us. I never did understood what they meant. It feels so real everytime you’re there. Most of the time, I really just want to keep dreaming. In my dreams, I was never with you. You were always happy, content and glowing. Your smile always eluded me, but I see it. It’s just that, you were never back with me.

Why would I want to keep in that state, when all I would feel is envy?

One reason…is because I see you.

Nothing else matters, nothing in this whole wide world.

Cheesy?

Yes.

True?

Absolutely!

I need you more than ever. Though I’m not really pleading my case, I’m just letting it all out. I could steal you back. I did it once, I could do it again. Its crazy isn’t it?

It always is, when it’s you and I involved.

I could still remember you telling me…’don’t ever leave me. I don’t know what I’ll do if you left me’.

February 19, 2002.

That was the day I died.

Was it because I wasn’t there? I knew that you still have strong feelings for me when I saw you a few months after that fateful day. So strong, that I could have sworn you were telling me to stay and never leave again. A year after that passed. I saw you again, and that same sparkle was there whenever you look at me. I played it cool back then, didn’t I?

I got over you, yes.

I just never got over us.

Nothing ever hurt like you.

pure fiction